“Never trust a man in a blue trench coat…” -Tom Waits
He was waiting outside the gate
in a trench coat and hat,
hands in his pockets.
He came to discuss
the terms of extortion: He tells you
that he will be moving into your master bedroom;
he needs the extra space.
He will be attending your pool party,
you are to introduce him to your friends as a your brother,
make up any name, he says.
He’s just come from his villa in…
you are to make that up too.
At first, you are able to ignore him.
You make casual small talk with your friends.
When he grabs your drink from your hand,
his robe opens, revealing a huge, hairy belly
with snake tattoos that seem to move;
some of your guests turn away in embarrassment and disgust.
Others laugh nervously
and try to engage him.
He vulgarly insults men and women, alike.
When the tension rises to the breaking point
he pushes you into the pool, and laughs like a jackal.
All your guests start leaving.
As you dry off, he says “I think that went well.
Sit down and let’s plan our next soiree!”